am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
3pm strippers are depressing
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
