They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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