pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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