so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
