i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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