I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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