I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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