last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
