My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
