pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize