like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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