Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
