I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My dick has a subreddit
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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