Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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