but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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