would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
