it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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