Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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