just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
