She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
