I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize