Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize