Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
