oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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