Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
