woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
