Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize