sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
