i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
