Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
