I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
