I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
