im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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