I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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