you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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