just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
