You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
