I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
