pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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