I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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