i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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