Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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