You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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