No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
