Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
