HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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