Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
a search helicopter?!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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