so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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