hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
