no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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