and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
