I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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