I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
