then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
