Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
