Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize