i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
