I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
