I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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